


Wasting my time (Loving you)

by cigarettesandalcohol



Category: Mafia (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Denial of Feelings, Gen, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jealousy, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Possessive Behavior, but it's not really....much?, if you squint it's slash, it's slash if you want it to be?, references to the stuff happening in the game, somewhere in between unrequired love/forbidden love/brotherly love/deep friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cigarettesandalcohol/pseuds/cigarettesandalcohol
Summary: I'm forever dreaming of what used to beAnd my heart is breaking in twoWasting my time, wasting my love on you(Annette Hanshaw - Wasting My Love On You)
Relationships: Sam Trapani/Paulie Lombardo
Comments: 11
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title and summary are from a 1930's song "Wasting my love on you" by Annette Hanshaw which is my favorite vintage sad song.
> 
> I love the "new" Sam (smooth beautiful bastard :3) so I finally had to write a Mafia fic, which is something I've wanted to do ever since I first played the original game.  
> This story is tagged with a "pairing" but IMHO it depends on how you want to read into it. It's more of a Sam's unrequited love (poor bastard) and feelings being hurt, or just some kind of a deep mutual connection they used to have. Like - there is no kissing nor any romance really. It's just about feelings and it is very much platonic so don't be scared off by the "pairing".
> 
> I literally do not have any professional knowledge of how mafia and its rules work so pls don't come at me saying "this could never happen in a real mafia", I KNOW! Also, I'm sorry for any mistakes, etc. in the text. It has 2 parts since I feel like making just one chapter would make it unbearably long. Hope you enjoy it!

He knew it had to be Paulie and Tom as soon as he heard the radio report. _A bank robbery - in full daylight - a couple of dead - the two intruders managed to escape_. The world was crumbling already. Sam never was one for hasty decisions and passionate outbursts. He waited for a repeated report withing fifteen minutes, smoking three cigarettes in the meantime. _A bank robbery - two intruders -_ He stubbed his third cigarette out in the ashtray and got up from his chair. The radio was now just a blabbering mess of voices and sounds. Everything else happening in the world seemed like irrelevant background noise now.

So they've done it.

Not even whiskey could wash away the bitter taste in his mouth. They just went and did everything that they shouldn't have. It had to be them, of course, it had to be. Sam wasn't one to jump to fast conclusions but this case seemed clear enough. Paulie was talking about exactly this kind of ambush just a few days ago. He could as well leave a letter with an explanation at the door of the bank. How could he even do this? Daft Paulie and his daydreams - when did he become a capable and responsible individual enough to lead his own operation? Sam had to smile at that thought. 

Life has never been the same since Tommy joined them. Paulie changed. Their lives changed. And Tom changed as well; he's come a long way from the terrified taxi driver who was in the wrong place at the wrong time to a cold-bloodied and accurate hitman and soldier of the family. It was Paul and Tom most of the time ever since. The two of them dealing with troubles and inconveniences, the two of them giving each other a lift home, the two of them sharing jokes only they could understand. 

Sam's smile turned into a bitter scowl. 

Paulie was different with Tom. He was more confident and thoughtful as if being with Tommy would turn everyone into a saint with a halo and their own plans for the future. Paul never seemed to care about tomorrow, not until Thomas married Luigi's girl and started to take care of his own family; the real one. Paulie never cared about any of the girls he used to spend nights with more than about his cars or guns - as long as they served their purpose, they were fine. Ever since Thomas came along, this all has changed.

He turned the radio off and decided to play a record instead. He lit a new cigarette and held it between his lips as he adjusted the disc at the gramophone. There was a fair amount of sentimentality in that song; a gloomily sounding beginning breaking into a cheery chorus. He remembered Paulie singing some lines of the song once - maybe it was the night the three of them were drinking to celebrate Tom's engagement - or maybe it was his wedding already? - the memories seemed hazed and forgotten now. He only remembered the pleasant warmth of alcohol doing its work, music playing, a line of smoking coming from Tom's cigarette, and Paul humming along the lines of the song. It was actually a love song, a surprisingly cheery one, considering the subject. _You always hurt the one you love_. He couldn't get it out of his head for days after that. Tom actually made a comment about the theme, saying something about it not being an ideal song for a celebration and for his plans for the future withing his marriage. 

He was smoking with long, lazy pauses between each puff just to keep his body busy with something; meanwhile, his mind was racing.

Paulie chose _this_ life then; that much was clear. Sam didn't expect himself to feel like this now, after finding out. His heart was broken, but there was nothing new about it. He couldn't remember what it felt like to feel any kind of positive, unspoiled emotion, anything that wasn't affected by alcohol and adrenaline. Normal life wasn't meant for him; and as it seemed, feelings weren't either. Why did Paulie have to make everything so complicated? And Thomas - everything was just fine when Tom wasn't there. Then he appeared like a guardian angel, perfect in every aspect. At least until now. 

The bank job was a big blow to the balance of their lives.

If the Don asks, he will get his answers; and if not from him, then from someone else, that's for sure. Sam had great doubts about Paulie being able to keep the whole operation secret. One day, he would start talking, boasting about his ability to rob a bank practically alone. He would spend most of the money within weeks anyway. Paulie was never one for saving up for later and having plans and it didn't seem likely that he would start now, although Tom's life must have had its impact on him and his decision-making after all. Since when was Paulie interested in any future at all?

Sam finished his cigarette. Where would Paulie be now? He'd be alone, probably. Tom surely has to be home for dinner; home with his wife and the kid, but Paulie would most likely be out on his own because he hated lonely nights alone in his apartment. So what would it be then? _Blue Tropics_? Celebrating his old lifestyle while thinking about the bright future? That sounded like him.

He downed another glass of whiskey - just for the road - and went on to get dressed. The song was just ending when he stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his bowtie and lapels of his jacket. _If I broke your heart last night, it's because I love you most of all_. There had to be some truth in the words though. He armed himself lightly, one gun would do. It's only important to have it loaded. It shouldn't be a hard job tonight.

 _Blue Tropics_ was his first and most trusted spot to find Paulie. The bartender already knew "the short-tempered small guy with red tie" well, and he knew exactly who Sam was asking about.

"Yeah, he came almost two hours ago. He should be in one of the private rooms - do you want me to go and call him?"

Sam nodded. "Add a glass of whiskey to his bill," he said, gesturing a glass of his favorite drink.

"Yes, sir."

He waited for Paul, sipping from his glass without any other words exchanged with any of the staff in the bar. They knew he didn't like to be bothered. He would sometimes come with Paulie but he would rarely ever go into one of the rooms. This place was a little too...cheap and sad for him. He didn't really like spending his time here, he preferred the bigger, more luxurious businesses in the city. He was known as a bit of a downer at that place, as he would drink and smoke without talking to anyone and without even trying to get himself a girl, at least for one night.

Paulie seemed surprised to see him in there. "Sam! What are you doing here?" He was a bit disheveled and rumpled and looked like he's just finished whoring in the back rooms. "I thought you didn't like this place."

"I still don't." He took another sip of his glass. "I knew you'd be here." He could have said ' _You're so predictable_ ' easily as well.

"Aaah, you don't need to worry about me. I was just fine - " He winked. "You know, back in there - "

"Celebrating?"

That seemed to get Paulie's attention. The corners of his mouth tugged slightly upward. "Yeah. _Celebrating_. Big things are coming for me."

It was shocking that Paulie was even alive with this naive and careless attitude that wasn't made for keeping secrets.

"Really?"

Paulie nodded, now with a full-on proud smile bright on his face. "You will see." He patted Sam's back and pointed at the empty glass in his hand. "I'll buy you another one!"

"You already did." The momentary confusion in Paulie's eyes made him curl his lips although there was very little amusement in his eyes. "This one was on your tab."

"I don't care, Sam." His joy was shattered against the invisible wall of Sam's icy calmness. "Jimmy!" he shouted at the bartender. "Two more glasses of the best whiskey you have!"

When they were served, Paulie raised his glass. " _Salute_! To a better life!"

Sam managed to hide his crooked grin for a moment as he drank. "So," he started after putting his glass down. "Is _this_ a better life?"

"Not really. Not _yet_ ," he added quickly. "But that will all come." He finished his drink, almost giggling. "And what are you doing here? Got nowhere better to be at night?"

Sam smirked. That little bastard _knew_ well he indeed had nowhere better to be. That was what brought them together in the first place; and that was what made them even closer when Tom decided to settle down after his marriage. Whenever Sam started to feel bad about his life and decisions, usually after a couple of drinks after midnight, he could always look over his shoulder and Paulie was there with him, drunker and more devastated and more miserable. There was a kind of reassurance in knowing that Paulie was there with him. Paulie was a friend, a partner, a companion for lonely nights, someone on whom he could count on if things went to shit around them, and there was always the comfort of Paulie being the butt of many jokes. Paulie was the one whom their friends would sometimes pity and sometimes make fun of; not him. Sam had the high ground. He had his dignity and he never complained, not even when drunk. He could always count on Paulie being the wretched one, and the comfort of that helped him deal with his own feelings of dejection.

"Misery loves company, right? Oh, Sam, I'm not gonna be miserable no more."

The determination in Paulie's voice and the spark in his eyes were what scared Sam the most.

_He means it. He really means it._

"How so?" Sam cleared his throat, trying to cover the shaky tone of his voice.

"I've got plans."

"Yeah, you said so. _Big plans_."

Paulie didn't seem to notice the warning signs. He was drunk of his own feeling of success and plans for a brighter future combined with the alcohol that he was ready to spill the beans completely. "I never had any plan in my life. I never thought about the future - "

_That's why we were together all the time._

"I never thought about marriage and all that - You can get a whore for a night and it's fine but - I feel like there is something more to life. You know?"

Sam finished his drink, combining the bitterness in his mouth with the taste of the whiskey.

"I feel like I finally see the meaning, that this life is more - it's about other people. If you have someone - someone to go home to - someone that you're looking forward to seeing, day after day - and I don't mean a favorite girl at a brothel. I mean someone - someone who would ask you things and care about you, and cook you dinner so you don't have to live on whiskey and cigars and coffee the whole day - "

_Like with me._

" - like with you," Paulie finished, laughing. "You know what I mean? I want something like Tom has. I really envy him. He's got something to build upon and someone to love, a nice house, wife, and kid. What do we have?"

Sam sneered. "Each other."

"Yeah." Paulie shrugged. "And that's not enough."

"Come on. You're drunk."

"A little bit, maybe." Paulie paused to finish off his drink as well. "But this - this has been on my mind for some time now. It's time for a change, Sam." The sadness in his eyes was tearing Sam's heart apart while the previous words and their meaning were making the decision easier and more final with every second. _Jesus Christ, Paulie. You're a dead man walking and you don't even know about it._

"I'll drive you home."

"So you came just to drag me home? I can take care of myself." Sam's unchanged expression seemed to persuade him. "Fine, fine, I'll just - say bye to that girl - you know. I got my manners."

Sam managed to remain calm as he watched Paulie walk slowly and a bit unsteadily back towards the client rooms. He didn't expect this but couldn't really blame Paulie. What if he tries to run away? What if he realized that something was off? There sure must be a way out from that room, he could easily hide somewhere or just try to climb out of a window and escape if he thought something was not right now - he never was one for being a gentleman with the girls in brothels; he didn't really have good manners to begin with. Sam's impatience grew with every passing second. He shouldn't have let him go, that was stupid - if he escapes now, warns Tom, hides the money, and disappears - 

Paulie came back with a wide smile across his face as he was getting into his tailored suit jacket. Sam spotted the gun in the holster on his hip. _Good. That should be easy to get rid of._ "Done?" he asked, hiding his relief. Maybe he should stop overestimating Paulie. He got one job done right; he was no genius.

"Yeah. Jimmy - " Paulie turned to the bartender again, looking for some banknotes in his pocket. "That's for tonight - give a little something to Lucy as well, okay?"

Sam watched him fiddle with the money and joke with the man behind the bar and he's never felt more distanced from anyone in his life. Stupid, foolish Paul. How could he even survive for so long with their lifestyle? He would get himself killed, sooner or later. It was almost as if he was dead now. There was no point in trying to understand or excuse his actions. All had been said and done. He wasn't angry with Paulie half as much as he was angry with himself for actually caring about him. He should have known better than to feel anything at all. And this was his reward - Paulie trying to get away from him.

"Come on. Let's go. " He wrapped his hand around Paulie's shoulders and lead him out of the bar. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "You broke my heart" part was obviously inspired by The Godfather II scene with Michael and Fredo, so you can just imagine Al Pacino's voice in there :)))

Paulie kept mostly quiet during the ride. He seemed to be preoccupied with his own thoughts and plans and Sam was in no mood to talk. The words Paulie had said cut deeply, no matter how much Sam tried to distance himself. Now that Paulie was sitting next to him in the car, it was almost like in the good old days when they would do almost every job together. Back then, Paulie would talk the whole time, he would talk and joke and tease and laugh, and Sam would laugh with him. The current silence in the car was ominous, though Paulie didn't seem to mind. 

Sam glanced at him for a moment. This wasn't Paulie anymore. This was a man with a plan, a serious face, and a whole new world opening just for him, a world where Sam was no longer wanted and needed. This was someone he used to know so well, and it now felt like a whole lifetime ago. Paulie didn't say a word and didn't seem to notice Sam's attention.

When they drove through the crossroad Paulie knew so well, he turned his head to see the lights of the street where he lived, the familiar neons and shop signs and cabs pass in front of his eyes within two seconds. "You should have turned right - "

Sam kept his eyes on the road now.

"Are we going to yours then?"

"Got some business to take care of." It wasn't unusual for Sam to not excel in communication when he was deeply focused on something but this task didn't make sense. Why would he pick him up in the club without saying anything or without informing him first that there was a job to be done? He didn't even have a proper gun and Sam didn't mention anything about their arsenal, although it had to be something bigger, something that Sam wouldn't be able to take care of alone -

"Where is that?" He didn't really feel drunk at all by now; he might have been a heavy drinker but he always kept on his toes even when drinking.

"Depends on where I park."

It took Paulie a few seconds to process the words; still, he was surprisingly quick to grasp the situation. He immediately reached for his gun only to find it missing from the usual place on his hip. That smooth bastard took it when he was getting into the car.

" _Fuck_ ," Paulie exhaled, rolling his eyes. _He should have known_ \- 

"Don't even think about it."

The car engine was the only sound cutting through the silence of the night around them.

"So is this _it_ , Sam?" Paulie sounded very sober by now; his voice was uncharacteristically small and quiet. He didn't need to elaborate what "it" meant; he knew it, Sam knew it. Sam himself asked this question a couple of times in the past years when his own warm, thick blood was gushing all over his hand as he tried in vain to stop the flow. _Is this it_? Paulie did exactly that - he was trying to stop the bleeding with his bare hands; he tried to reach for a gun in a useless act of self-defense but it was late. It had been late since he stepped into the damned bank.

And yet he didn't have enough willpower to open the door, try to jump out or flat out fight with Sam, or even shout and scream and beg. There was a level of dignity in the calmness with which Paulie remained in his seat. Even his previous grab for a gun that wasn't there was pathetic. He wouldn't get away with it. He wouldn't get far.

He wouldn't shoot Sam. Not in the arm, not in the leg, not just to injure or paralyze him; not even in self-defense. He realized that only now because such a thought never really crossed his mind.

"Got anything to say?" Sam was still looking at the road as if he didn't know the city like the back of his hand.

"I'll save it for later."

"There's not much _later_ left." Sam himself was surprised by the coldness of his voice. He never had problems with keeping his feelings and emotions hidden but tonight's situation was different from any other job he's ever done. 

"You can't do this," Paul whispered, more to reassure himself that it _was not possible_ , as he watched Sam's emotionless face. Suddenly, the corners of his lips twitched, once, twice, and he let out a dry laugh. "You're only playing, huh? You're just busting my balls!" He shook his head. "Jesus - you almost got me there - "

"Shut your fucking mouth for once, will you?"

He could almost hear Paul's jaw drop and the image of his shocked face with eyes frightened by the sudden realization granted him a perverse feeling of power over him. He hasn't had this feeling for some time. It felt almost like Paulie was - outgrowing him. Getting away from him.

Maybe that was what terrified him the most. Paulie choosing a new life. Paulie choosing his own path. Paulie choosing Tom over him.

"I didn't do anything bad, Sam."

"Stop lying to yourself. And stop insulting my intelligence."

"Does the boss know about the bank job? Did you tell him?"

"You've got an awful lot of questions today. I'd rather you explained it to me."

They weren't in the city anymore; the neon lights and passing trams outside the car window were replaced by peaceful looking sights of the fields and fences around the road. 

"Will you listen?"

"I always do."

"No. You don't." This first sign of any resistance finally made Sam glance at him with interest. "You just think I'm some sort of nitwit with no mind of my own - "

"Careful with those words - "

"Well, what's the point now?" Paulie snapped. "You can't fucking do this on your own, you know that. Does the Don know about this?"

"That's none of your business." Sam took a sharp turn onto a forest road that wasn't illuminated at all.

"You can't go 'round killing your own men."

"There's a reason for all of this. And you know it."

"It's not up to you to decide who's gonna get it - "

"I'm the capo in here. I'm in charge of you two blockheads and if you keep on doing this dumb shit we're all gonna get whacked."

"We won't!" He tried to grab Sam's shoulder but Sam pushed him away. "What about Tommy? Is he okay?" The apprehension in his voice was heartbreaking; he seemed distressed that he forgot about his best friend and remembered him only now when Sam mentioned _the two of them_ , and the concern was pure, almost childlike; there was nothing selfish about it, it really seemed like Thomas' life and safety were his only concern. _Maybe he was a loyal friend_ , _after all_ , Sam sneered. Too bad he chose Tom. 

"Don't worry about him." He stopped the car far enough from the main road to not raise any suspicion even with the lights on and opened the door at his side. Paul was sitting still in his seat. "Come on, get out."

Their eyes met. The pain in Paulie's eyes could almost break his heart - _almost_ \- all over again.

Paulie was thinking, contemplating, considering his options. He didn't have a car, but Sam did. He would have to fight Sam in a very unfair fight and there was very little hope for him. And even if he got out of this goddamn forest, what would he do? Go back home? Go to Tom's? What if Salieri really knows everything already? He would be dead within minutes. The family had their people everywhere. He wouldn't even get back home if Salieri really wouldn't want him to.

"Get out," Sam repeated, this time more urgently, although he didn't even raise his voice.

"You can't do that, Sam - "

"Don't make me drag you out like some fucking rat."

Paulie had seen Sam act like this before - he'd seen him drag unwilling and begging men out of their cars to shoot them in their heads with a precision that left him in awe. Sam didn't mess about when there was a job to be done. 

"No, don't do this - "

"Get out of the car."

Paulie opened his door and looked around. There were just trees around, trees, and cold autumn air forming a light fog around the car headlights. There was no real way out by running away. Running wasn't an option. He _could_ explain it to Sam. They were friends, after all - even now. If he explained it - Sam would understand. Sam might have a word with Salieri - maybe they could make a deal. Maybe he could get away from this - after all, it was Sam. And Paulie knew him better than anyone in the crew. Sam would understand. He was just being cold and emotionless for the feeling of a job that was awaiting him but he would understand. It was only natural. Sam would understand him and help him, Sam always had a backup idea, he would always come up with a way to save their asses in dangerous situations - and they've been through a lot together.

"Let me explain it - " he begged, holding his arms up defensively, although he didn't have any gun to defend himself with.

"Get over here."

"Just don't shoot, Sam." The panic in Paul's voice was noticeable now. "Okay? Just give me a chance to explain everything."

"Wasn't the don always honest with you?"

"Yes - yes of course - Sam, please. It's got nothing to do with him."

"Wasn't there always a reason for any dangerous job or secrecy?"

"Yes - you're not listening. I didn't do anything to go against him - It's got nothing to do with the family. I would never do anything to hurt the boss. The bank - how does that hurt the don? He can have his share - I'll let him have the money. It's only moonlighting - it's just a side job, one side job, and it didn't hurt anyone's interests - I was careful with that."

"There's nothing careful about robbing a bank, you idiot. A bank robbery is a good enough reason for the police to go after you - and what then? Your stupid bank job would get you arrested and lead to even more investigation within the family - all because of your stupid idea and greed. Didn't you have a good life? Wasn't this all good enough for you?"

Paulie laughed bitterly. _This all_ \- what did Sam mean? _This all_ \- a night in the forest outside the city, disarmed, with arms raised in the air, in front of a car that would soon carry his body to the lake or maybe the river - "It's not about the money, Sam. It's about the future."

Sam pushed him further in front of the car whose lights were blinding him. "On your knees," he ordered.

"Sam - I just didn't want to end up miserable, old, and alone. It was nothing about the boss - or the family - Is that such a crime?"

"On your knees," Sam repeated with a sharp edge in his voice. Paulie nodded slowly and started to carefully lower his body, mindful of not doing any hasty movements as he got onto one knee and then on both. His shoulder began to tremble.

"Are you gonna shoot me?" he asked, his voice quavering and quiet. "In the back of my head? Because of a stupid mistake? After all the years - "

"You can't play by your own rules, Paulie. You know the game."

"So it doesn't mean anything to you, Sam?" Suddenly, Paulie's voice was steady again, as if he couldn't decide whether to be a dolorous victim or rather a proud warrior, fighting until the very last breath. "I had your blood all over myself. I fucking held you in my arms when we thought you were dying - and it doesn't mean shit to you? I came home fucking sick that night. I thought that the shirt with your blood will be all I will have left if you die at the doc's house. And you know why you didn't die, Sam?" A pained sniff followed the pointless question. "Because of Tommy and me. We had your back when you needed us."

"I would have done the same for you _then_."

"Not _now_?"

"You broke my heart, Paulie." Paulie shivered when he felt cold steel against his temple. "That's the difference."

Paul sobbed and took a shaky breath. "No, no, no, _please_ \- we can make a deal - don't do this - for old times' sake - "

"There's no old times when it comes to betrayal."

"Sam, please - "

Sam noticed his own hand trembling. His heart was racing, he could feel the blood rushing and thumping in his veins at this overwhelming feeling of power. It was never as intoxicating with all the previous killings. Holding Paulie at gunpoint was almost liberating. _How little needed to be done_ \- 

"But I won't do it."

He pulled his hand away but Paulie was left kneeling on the ground, paralyzed by the fear he never knew he had, with head lowered and eyes closed.

"I could fucking shoot you at the spot. God knows I could. And you'd deserve it." He reached out with his free hand and touched Paul's neck. Paul flinched. His skin was cold and sweaty. "Get up."

Paulie was visibly shaking as he got up again, slow and careful, doing the exact opposite of what's he done a minute ago.

"Look at me."

Paulie turned around, making small, nervous steps, still holding his hands up. His face was pale and his eyes seemed wider than ever. " _Fucking hell, Sammy_ \- " he muttered, hardly even catching his breath.

"I owe you this much." He kept his hand on Paul's neck and hid his gun. Paulie looked limp like he might just pass out at the spot. "Take this as a fucking warning." He patted Paulie's shoulder and pulled him into an embrace, wrapping his arms around his slumped frame. He could feel Paul's heart beating under the shirt clammy with sweat. "You'll be fine."

Paulie mirrored the embrace, grabbing onto Sam like a drowning man saved from the deadly waves of the sea. " _Oh my God_ ," he blabbered over and over again. " _Oh my God_ \- " His breath was still short and he was literally gasping for each word. "Sammy - I thought - Oh my God - I really thought - " He buried his face in Sam's shoulder. "I owe you - so much - I won't - I won't do anything bad - I promise - "

He stroked Paulie's back. "It's gonna be alright - " There was a calmness in his voice of a man who's made his mind. "I've got a plan. You need to trust me and the family."

Paulie burst into breathy, jerky laughter and crossed himself. " _I knew it - I fucking knew it_ - _I knew you wouldn't pull it_ \- " 

He gifted Paulie with life now, much more than he deserved and much more than Tommy could. God knows he wouldn't want to live the rest of his life with the memory of Paul's last moments, the sound of his wheezing noises after being shot echoing around his brain, and the vivid image of the ground turning into a bloody mess under his body.

"Listen now, okay? Salieri doesn't know. Tomorrow, things might be different. If he asks me, I'm not gonna lie. Maybe a word will come 'round - it's better for you to stay at home." Paulie nodded, face still hidden in the cloth of Sam's vested suit. "Don't do anything stupid. I'll send two men from the crew to be with you in case something fucks up. And I'll keep you informed. This is a warning. Don't fuck it up now. You're living on a borrowed time. Better get the money ready for the boss' share if you want to be in a position for making a deal. Okay? Stay at home, keep your head down, and we'll see."

It was much better to remember him like this; frightened but grateful, loyal once again, listening, and following instructions. At least some memories could be encaptured like this forever while lives passed by. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to savor as much as he could from this moment - the fresh autumn air smelling of grass and mud and forest; the radiant car headlight, the feeling of the fabric of Paulie's shirt under his fingers as he caressed Paul's back. They had a good time together; saying otherwise would be a lie. This was a beautiful ending. Nothing messy and dirty like killing Paulie off himself would be. Instead, he gained his trust again. Paulie was always so gullible. He couldn't keep his head cool. He always fell so easily for new ideas, new cars, new places, and new people. At least they got to share one last stand and one last laugh. Sam watched Paulie's face, there was a bit more color back in it, and his eyes had some of their life back after the scare. It was still a shame. Things could have gone a million different routes and yet they ended up here; all because one day, they ran into Thomas Angelo, and Tommy's picture-perfect life was more appealing than anything they used to have. _Stupid Paulie_. Got himself killed for an imaginary dream world and the life he didn't even get to know.

"I'll do everything you said," Paulie assured him. "I won't disappoint you again."

"I know." He took a step back, releasing Paulie from his grip, and smiled.

He's made the last necessary decision: Carmine and Little Nicky would be perfect for this job.


End file.
